I am so frustrated with my husband. He has decided to take a chunk out of our savings account and lease a parcel of land to hunt on. Now, that bothers me on a certain level, but I understand this is something he enjoys doing. He is also going to have to pay insurance on this land. That is where I am getting frustrated.
We have been down this road a time or two. Last fall, knowing he was looking for a new job, he paid the same amount he is going to pay now, to join a hunting club. Three weeks after he paid his “dues,” he had gotten a new job and moved to Arkansas. So there went that money, down the drain. And, instead of asking if he could get his money back and someone else take his place or at least trying to recoup some of that money, he just let it go!!! He claims that because this land is actually down the road from his plant, it has great roads, blah, blah, blah…it will be different this time. He will take the boys with him, blah, blah, blah.
What about me? What about my interests? What about my wants?
“We just can’t afford that right now.”
That is what I hear. I want to go back to karate. I have made no bones about it. I want to finish my black belt and go up the ranks of black belt. I love competing in tournaments, I love the exercise, the feeling of accomplishment every time I earned a new belt. And, it would only cost me 1/2 of what we pay for Sage every month. That would be the equivalent of eating out once a week. And…for both of us to go, it would still be less than what we were paying in Macon.
But he doesn’t want to hear it. He doesn’t want to discuss it. After all, we just joined the country club. We have that added expense every month. The boys need school supplies, school clothes, etc. I should be satisfied with being a member of the country club. HUH? Yeah, it is nice to be able to go to the pool…but that is all I am interested in and only because it gives me some where to take the kids. I am not getting any enjoyment out of it because I have to hold Elisabeth while she “swims.”
I want to go back to karate. I want to pursue my interests. Why can he not see that? Why is it when it comes to his activities, he can pursue them to his heart’s content, but I can’t? He wants to get Sage his first gun. Another $400 – $500. But I can’t get a punching bag? I can’t get a treadmill? I can’t get a new fetching clothes dryer!!! I have needed one for several years now…but as long as this one is running, why get a new one? It drys the clothes. So what if it takes 2 or 3 cycles to dry clothes? So what if there is only one setting that can be used?
I need to stop…the more I type, the madder I get.